http://educate-yourself.org/lte/storyofforgiveness02aug04.shtml
Aug. 2, 2004
Subject: My story of Forgiveness
From: "Sue Kelley" <skelley5@carolina.rr.com>
Date: Mon, August 2, 2004 12:10 pm
To: Editor@educate-yourself.org
I am writing this because I have been compelled to do so. For some reason
I am supposed to write this letter and I have long ago stopped asking why.
I have had a cocaine problem for close to 30 years now. I have been in and
out of treatment centers and instuitions more times than I can count. About
a year and a half ago I asked God to come into my life and it has made me
a different person. I did almost anything to cover up my "secret".
I hated summer because I couldn't wear long-sleeves without feeling like
a fool. I knew what I was doing was wrong, all of the lying, cheating and
stealing but I just did not have the will power to stop. Back then, that's
what I thought it took, will power.
I am a 50 year old middle class housewife and mother of 3, I went to college,
I was an Army brat and lived all over the world. No one outside my family
would have ever guessed that I was a junkie. My life was turned around when
they told me that I would continue to stay sick if I didn't learn to forgive
myself -they told me that God had already forgiven me.
At that time I couldn't see past the shame to see the hand that was reaching
out for me. Me of all people, the one who had turned her back on Him time
and time again. Without the help of my church and the staff, I don't know
if I would even be alive to write this. I have been clean now for about a
year and a half now and am proud to say the I love life only because of what
He did for me. I'm not sure what I was running from, but what I have run to
is far greater than I could have ever dreamed. I do know that God has put
me right where he wants me to be. I think he wants me to use this experience
to the good somehow. I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am to the Lord
for showing me that there was hope through faith. It is more than I could
have ever asked for.
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