Subject: False Restraining order
From: Dene.
Date: Mon, August 30, 2010
To: Ken Adachi
I am female and had a boyfriend perjure himself to get a restraining order
on me because he was worried I was going to put one on him and he would have to
surrender his FID card and firearms. He admitted this to the issuing judge 10 days
later in court, before the order was dropped. This is now going to be on my
permanent record and I have a copy of the hearing ordered as of today. I can prove
he perjured himself and am wondering if you have any advice for me to get this
expunged, as the current laws to obtain a restraining order in MA are not okay. They
are being issued without proof and I have fallen victim to someone abusing the
system when it was me who was in fear for my safety.
Thank you for your time.
Dene'
***
Hi Dene,
Sorry, I'm not in the legal business, so I don't know how to get that expunged, but I assume it's do-able.
On another note, realize that we ourselves, set the stage for the dramas that befall us. Of course, it's utterly wrong for lovers or spouses or parents to try to obtain restraining orders against their significant other in order to box out the other party. It's totally immoral, improper, and ill advised.
If you dish out an injustice from one side of the fence, it ALWAYS comes back to haunt you on the other side of the fence.
The feminists got this ball of wax rolling by encouraging woman to get restraining orders against their men in order to keep the kids to themselves, or deny the father access, etc., etc. In some instances, a restraining order is TRULY justified, but in most cases the accusations are TOTAL BS and it's Illuminated, masonic, or feminist judges who are equally to blame for issuing restraining orders like passing out Hershey Chocolates, without an equal hearing of BOTH sides of the story and determining if the accusations are justified. It's just one more corruption of the legal system that the Illuminated Ones spearheaded by creating the feminist movement.
Fights over child custody, fights over child support, fights over access to the kids, etc, were ALL CREATED in the wake of the feminist movement and THEIR agitation for "no fault divorce" around 1976. Prior to that, you did not have the pathetic divorce rate you have today and there were very few child support battles, and rarely battles over child custody.
NO fault divorce does not exist in Japan, and while their divorce rate is rising (due to the influence of Western corruption), it's no where near the astronomical rate it is here. You don't have these bitter, hate-filled custody fights, restraining orders, or child support fights like you have here. Both parties have to AGREE to get divorced, before a divorce will be granted. That makes ALL the difference in the world.
If he was worried that you were going to go for a restraining order against him, then maybe you gave him reason to be concerned. Are you beginning to see my point? Now that you had the tables turned on you, how does it feel to be on the receiving end of injustice? How do you think he would have felt if you did it to him first?
People have no business sleeping with someone who they don't love, cherish, and respect. If you're going to be lovers with someone, then you should act, think, and behave lovingly towards your partner. It's normal for lovers and spouses to fight from time to time, it's part of life, but I would NEVER in a million years consider calling the cops or going to court against my partner. Never. That's the lowest thing you could possibly do. It's beneath contempt.
In life, we reap what we sow.
(I hope my comments can serve some useful purpose for you and him. Love and forgive. That's the only t hing you both should be talking about. Everything else is pure stupidity.)
Sincerely, Ken
***
Subject: Re: False Restraining order
From: Dene
Date: Thu, September 2, 2010
To: Ken Adachi
Ken, thank you for your prompt reply, but I am not quite sure what prompted
you to go on about how we set the stage for the dramas that befall us and
how I should think about how the shoe is on the other foot and how would my
ex have liked it had I filed one against him. The only reason he thought I would is because he owns about 50 guns and he
threatened me. I am of the mind where leaving the legal system out of things
is always best. I wrote to you with a specific question, but had no idea you
would send a reply like this. I can understand you must deal with men who
are falsely accused quite often. However, just because I am female does not
group me with women who make false accusations. I am the victim here, no one
else.
Thank you for your time.
***
Hi Dene,
OK, maybe it's as you say, but I don't think you understood my intentions. I'm not blaming you. I never said you were not on the receiving end. However, I'm questioning a relationship that allows such a move to take place in the first place. What sort of guy goes to court for a restraining order against a woman lover? A restraining order implies that he's in FEAR of being harmed by you. Is that possible for a guy has owns an arsenal of guns? Logic dictates that he did it as a legal strategy to preclude you from doing it first. In fact, you said that he admitted that this was his motive. So what gave him that worry?
I'm not saying he was right. I'm saying that you and he are the only two people doing the tango here and you played SOME role in setting up this dynamic. He, on one hand, should be thoroughly ashamed of himself for doing such a despicable thing. You, on the other hand, have to question yourself as to WHY he felt motivated to do such a thing. That's what I meant by setting up the dramas that befall us.
You're not exactly the victim. You're the second party in a boy/girl spat that went sour. Neither the boy nor the girl should ever consider going to the legal system as a method of retribution is the larger point I was trying to make.
You played a part in this. For starters, you decided on having this man for a lover. If he has such a low character, the responsibility still lies with you to size up his character BEFORE becoming his girlfriend. Something went on in this relationship that caused him to be worried that you would go to the court first and screw up his ability to keep his guns. That's what I was alluding to. It's not that I'm defending his conduct.
My guess is that you can get the record expunged if he will cooperate and go to the judge with you and explain his motives.
Sincerely, Ken
Comments
Subject: Restraining Order
From: Dr. Louise
Date: Tue, August 31, 2010
To: Ken Adachi
Hi Ken,
I am so pleased to see that you are back on line and doing better.
With regard to the lady from Massachusetts and her dilemma regarding the RO, I feel
that she needs to evaluate her situation and why she became involved with this
fellow who took it upon himself to get a protective order against her.
These kinds of situations happen all too often and this particular one reeks of
drama. It sounds like the parties were involved in a little one-ups-manship when
they should have just agreed to part ways peacefully instead of firing off threats
to involve the judiciary. The courts are littered with this kind of inter-personal
brouhaha and it seems to be a sign of the times.
I would suggest that the lady initiate a 'no-contact' truce and look into her own
behavior pattern with the help of a therapist before initiating a new relationship.
She may attempt to 'expunge' the record after a period of no contact.
Bottom line is that a Restraining Order or Order for Protection is only a piece of
paper and in some instances has served only to catalyze further violence.
All information posted on this web site is
the opinion of the author and is provided for educational purposes only.
It is not to be construed as medical advice. Only a licensed medical doctor
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